Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
