Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
