I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize