No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Randomize
