Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize