i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
