Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
