I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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