he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
