YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We're too hungover to prance.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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