Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
