So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Holy shit dude........stairs
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
