he puts the penis in happiness.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
