She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
