I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
she woke up with a sticky ear
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize
