Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
