There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
