I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
