Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
