my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
