It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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