Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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