Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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