Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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