her vagine was all disorganized.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize