That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My Sexting was not on an AP level
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
