So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
