As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
