A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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