it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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