You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
