Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
