Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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