you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
