i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
