all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize