she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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