I'm gonna have a badass scar
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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