Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
