Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
