Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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