Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
