So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
