never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
