ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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