Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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