Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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