He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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