i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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