That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
