And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
