shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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