he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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