I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
