you guys were way drunker than both of me
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I looked at my own cervix.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
