it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
