My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
third nipple confirmed
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
