someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
The power of my boobs compel you
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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