Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
