i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize