i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
worst night to have a conscience
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
