why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
They took my balls.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
