What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Your dad touched me again.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
false alarm, still single
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
