So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
